Gone
by Rinny Z
Summary: Wow. My first JtHM fic. o.o; It's probably not good... but, hey, I tried. :) One-Shot, takes place after the 7th issue, I was inspired to write this by the picture on the back of the 7th issue. Would you please read and review? x)


Wow. I can't beleive it. My first JtHM fic. o.o;  
  
Yes... I seem to have had some success in the Invader Zim section, and I recently finished all 7 issues of JtHM, and I loved them so... here I am. O.O  
  
Please, be kind! I don't know how good I am at writing JtHM fics! ;-;  
  
Okay. This is a One-Shot, Devi's POV, takes place after the 7th issue.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own JtHM, Jhonen does. I am a mere hell-fan... oo;;  
  
Let the fic begin!! x)  
  
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The jacket was old. It had been in her closet for years, a token from one of her many failed attempts at companionship, a gift from her first date, which had ended so disastrously, and even after all these years it was still several sizes too large for her. But, despite it's odd, mothball smell, it was warm, and the night was cold. And that was all that really mattered.  
  
Devi released a shuddering sigh as she pulled it over her shoulders.  
  
"Okay, Devi." she said to herself, moving her pigtails out of the jacket's way. "This is it. Don't be scared, everything will be fine... remember, the brave feel the pain of death only once in their life... the cowardly die every day..."  
  
She hadn't gone outside in months now. She had quit her job, and was now working from her house, on a computer. She got all her errands done by friends. But she hadn't even approached the door in months.  
  
Lately her paranoia was getting out of hand. Even the phone terrified her; after all, it could be.... _him._  
  
Johnny.  
  
She smoothed her skirt down as she thought of him. Johnny. She... wasn't sure of what she thought of him.  
  
Devi slowed her actions a bit, as she thought. _'Johnny...' _she mused. _'I still.... have feelings for him... that much I know... but... he scares me, he tried to kill me... oh, Johnny... I want to help him, but he won't let me... he pushes me away, he pushed me away on our date, before he tried to kill me... before he went into that room... I still wonder what happened in there... or do I? Fuck, I hate him so much. Why is he still here!? In my mind!? Get the fuck out of my mind you little shit!! Oh God... I wish I'd never met him... I wish he hadn't tried to kill me.... I miss Johnny! And that guy that tried to kill me was NOT Johnny... I am just so damn confused....'  
  
_Devi shook her head to dislodge the thoughts. Lately she had been experiencing a horrible feeling of confusion when she thought of him. She still felt for him... but she hated him.... he scared her, and yet...  
  
_'Fuck. He makes me want to hug him, then run away screaming, hoping my body parts are all still attached.'_  
  
Devi shook her head again and sighed. Time to go outside... time to finally get over this wall of fear, and _live_ again...  
  
She stepped up to the door, and set her trembling hand on the doorknob. Doubt shot through her mind, too quickly for her to examine, but slow enough for her to acknowledge it vaguely.  
  
She whimpered lightly, but didn't back down. She was determined to get over this.  
  
She closed here eyes and opened the door, wincing as if there was something on the other side waiting to attack her.  
  
Silence.  
  
Devi opened one eye and looked throught the door. The sun was setting, and a few stars where beginning to surface, winking quietly from the heavens. Things where silent and peaceful. She blinked and stepped outside, shutting the door behind her.  
  
She shivered and wrapped her hands around her body protectively as she walked down the sidewalk. She had a feeling as if she had forgotten part of herself behind at the house. She felt unprotected, naked, weak, vulnerable...  
  
"It's okay, Devi. Besides, if any little shit tries to hurt you, just kick their ass. You've defended yourself before... from..."  
  
Devi didn't finish the sentence. She kept on walking in silence, head bowed now, deep in though.  
  
Johnny.  
  
She remembered that day so clearly... she was so happy, and he was too, he said so himself, before he... tried to... kill her....  
  
Devi grimaced. She had hurt him. Made him bleed. She really liked him, and she had hurt him. But, then again, he had tried to hurt her...  
  
The feeling she got when she had been forced to defend herself was horrible. She had just been there, perfectly happy, things where going so great... they where going to kiss, and then he had pushed her away and gone into the other room. She smiled to herself, and playfully gone up to follow him, but then...  
  
The look in his eyes... it didn't seem human. The smile on his face wasn't the soft, kind one she had seen minutes earlier. He had completely transformed, and it jolted her away from her bliss as abrtuptly and horribly as train crash.  
  
There was no choice but to run, to fight, to hurt. And it hurt her as well. She liked him, and a few moments later she was kicking him.  
  
In a panicked, frenzied state of mind, she then proceeded to run to her house get inside, block the door with chairs, and run to her room where she promptly curled into a fetal position under her bed's blankets, shuddering and crying a bit from the sudden confusion and fear.  
  
Devi shivered, and was snapped back into reality by the awareness of the biting cold. The sun was now completely gone, and she figured she should head back now. She turned around to head back to her home, and stopped in her tracks.  
  
Her mind went blank as she saw the sight in front of her. It brought back memories, fear, confusion, horror, pain, love...  
  
Johnny's house.  
  
How had she ended up here!?  
  
Devi stepped back a bit, and noticed that the place seemed... emptier than before.  
  
It seemed... _dead._  
  
She looked around, the darkness and silence stifling her as much as her heavy jacket. Johnny's car was gone. That... made her feel a bit better...  
  
Devi's eyes widened as she felt her legs propel her forward, and after a moment she began to resolutely walk up the path to his door. She paused when she found herself upon it, and she hesitantly knocked.  
  
_'I must be crazy.' _she thought sadly to herself as she knocked.  
  
She stopped after a second, and waited. For what she waited, she didn't know, but she waited nontheless.  
  
Nothing.  
  
Nothing happened. No noises, nothing. Devi blinked and tried the doorbell. It didn't make a sound, which was odd...  
  
Devi bit her lip anxiously, and pushed on the door lightly. It swung on it's hinges smoothly and soundlessly.  
  
She peered inside. The moon lighted the area some, and she walked in. It was empty.  
  
Devi scratched her cheek a bit, and looked around at the emptyness. There where some questionable stains on the floor, but that was it.  
  
She walked slowly in, looking around, remembering. With Johnny things had felt... RIGHT. Whole. Until that unfortunate incident, of course.  
  
Devi looked at the end of the room, where another door stood. She stared at it, then walked to it, steps resounding loudly in the oppresive silence.  
  
She stood in front of it, then opened the door and pushed it. She clenched her fists as it too swung open soundlessly, and she stood at the doorway's entrance, fists still clenched, face betraying no emotion.  
  
Nothing. Nothing but emptyness. She stared in face cold, fists clenched.  
  
Johnny was gone.  
  
The thought sounded in her head loudly. _Gone, gone, gone..._  
  
He's gone.  
  
Devi stared for a few more moments, and closed the door. She walked out of the old forgotten house and down the path where she had once walked upon, laughing, chatting happily away with an old friend, who might have even become something more.  
  
She walked back to her house, remembering, his face, his smile, his hair... he made her happy...  
  
Devi sighed sadly to herself. So that was it. He was gone. She was safe.  
  
She felt a bit of wetness in her eyes, and quickly reached up to wipe it away.  
  
"Cheer up, Devi." she murmured to herself, voice breaking softly with sadness.  
  
"Everything is going to get better now." she murmured sadly to herself, as she opened the door to her safe haven, and entered her lonely house.  
  
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Okaaay. Please tell me how I did. I'm not sure if I am good at JtHM fics. o.o;  
  
I'm not sure I liked the ending too much. :/  
  
Oh well. Go ahead and review. It is good for your soul, and besides, internalizing the thoughts and feelings you got while reading this is no good. O.O  
  
So... yeah. Review. -.-;; 


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